What do you love? (Your good qualities…your dog?) What don’t you love?(Working late…stepping in mud?) How do you feel when love is absent? (Pit in stomach…uneasy?) How do you feel when love is present. (Happy…generous?)
Stop reading for a moment and answer the above questions in your mind. Imagine. Take your time.
So, how did you feel when you thought of what you love?How do you feel when love is absent?Make a note to remember this, then…remember.
In my 65 years on earth I have witnessed that, when love is present, life feels good.But when love is absent, life can feel…well…not so good.Did you notice that too? In those moments of “not so good”, we are given the opportunity – yes, opportunity – to remember that love matters most.
But how do you remember in those moments of “not so good” that love matters most?How do you remember that, when you feel the heaviness of others’ pain sometimes expressed through inflicting pain on someone else?
Remember how wonderful you are. Remember what makes you a unique and loving person who feels good when you feel and are aware of love. Remember this now so you’re ready if you ever wind up in a “not so good” moment. Write down your qualities now so you don’t forget!
Recognize the other person’s pain, without enabling reactive behavior. Practice this by not reacting yourself. Practice awareness of the “not so good” moment you find yourself in. Take a deep relaxing belly breath and allow your heart and brain to clear. (Humans are meant to experience joy so it’s always a shock when we encounter negativity. Belly breaths help to release the shock.)
Trust your intuition. Is a response necessary? If so, respond with simple clear truth while standing in and emanating your light. If a response isn’t necessary, stand in your light for a moment. Feel it. Then send some of it from your heart to those feeling "not so good" themselves.
Here’s an example of how it’s done. John Candy from Planes, Trains and Automobiles existed in a moment when love was absent and present at the same time. Steve Martin unleashed his negative tirade on John, after which John replied,
“You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel better. I’m an easy target. I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you. But I don’t like to hurt people’s feelings. Think what you want about me. I’m not changin’. I like me. My wife likes me. My customers like me. ‘Cuz I’m the real article. What you see is what you get.”
John felt Steve’s absence of love.Then John gave Steve a lesson in love. John remembered acceptance and love, when it mattered most.
Debra M. Hollinrake
Debra M. Hollinrake, C.LAC, is a partner with The Tree of Health Center in Andover, NJ. She is also an Emotional Freedom Techniques (tapping) and Be Set Free Fast practitioner, mindfulness teacher, spiritual life coach and inspirational speaker.Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.