coming back to life …
Written by: Katie Molloy
Have you ever walked into a room and just felt like you belonged? Just one short year ago I stepped through the door of the Tree of Health Center and everything changed. Though my initial intention was to find an answer to my cry for help, it turned into so much more.
The Katie of last year was vastly different than the Katie who is sitting here typing these words. I had become so consumed by anxiety I could barely function. It became my identity, - that I was an “anxious person.” This burden that I was carrying was exacerbated by the deep shame I felt about the state of my mental health. So up until this point, I suffered in silence.
But the Tree of Health Center became a place where I felt safe to open up and to literally find my voice again. As I began to reflect on my life, I could see a consistent pattern of feeling lost, that there were long stretches where I simply followed the progression of what everyone else seemed to be doing and what made the most sense to do next. I did a really good job of just fitting in. I found safety in doing things “perfectly”, I thought that if I did everything “right” and didn’t make any “mistakes” I would be safe from criticism, judgment, and the anger of the people around me. Sacrificing myself for the benefit of others created a burning in my soul. I used the usual distractions to cope with the feeling of discontentment - other people’s approval, social media, codependent unhealthy relationships, smoking, drugs and alcohol. But all of them, just like the parties I never missed, had to end.
Through the healing hands of Linda’s CranioSacral therapy and Debra’s EFT tapping, (an experience myself and a fellow tapper have affectionately nicknamed “Deb-taps”) I have been brought back to life. My nervous system can finally relax. I feel safe to just breathe and be present to the moment. I remember so vividly an exchange I had with Debra during a session. I told her that when anxiety first took over, all I wanted was my old life back without the anxiety, but that in coming out the other side, I realize I am no longer the same Katie. Everything has changed. Debra’s magical and memorable response was a quote from “Alice in Wonderland”- “I can’t go back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.”
In addition to our healing work, I was offered a professional opportunity, where for the first time in a job setting, I felt valued and that my voice was heard. This empowerment has brought meaning beyond words. TTOHC became a one stop shop for everything that was missing. While the healing journey never really ends, I am eternally grateful for the support and love I have received to help me find peace in this beautiful but chaotic world.